On Editing and Writing

Life is an unknown. We all learned that from Forest Gump.

He was an uncomplex man that knew what he was talking about.

Forest knew how to express complex ideas with simple metaphors.

And it’s true, life is like a box of chocolates: Sometimes it’s chewy and hard to swallow, other times it’s smooth and creamy, and occasionally we just don’t like the taste of it at all and spit it out.

I love boxes of chocolate.

They are opportunities presented as gifts.

A simple metaphor for our lives. My early day today was a bit chewy and hard to swallow, but it’s ending smooth and creamy.

What’s your box like today?

Every industry or market has its own jargon. The most important thing to keep in mind when using industry or audience-specific language is to use it sparingly and correctly. Overusing jargon is a great way to turn off your readers. But what’s even more of a turn off for your readers is using that jargon incorrectly. If you’re going to use it, know what it means.

Isn’t using industry jargon the same thing as knowing your audience?

Well, not exactly. When you use the correct jargon for your intended audience you have not only learned that jargon and how to use it, but you have also researched who your intended audience is first. For example, if you are writing for a high tech end user that doesn’t know very much about different operating systems you will use much more simple, matter-of-fact language than if your end user, your reader, is a computer programmer.

Why is using industry jargon necessary?

Using jargon is essential if you want to speak to your readers. There are some industries that use more jargon than others, but the necessity for it is quite obvious.

Here’s an example. This is an abstract that I wrote for an SAP white paper:

The complexity of the global economy is a powerful motivation for companies to look for new ways to increase efficiency and productivity. That’s why companies must have the ability to transform information into meaningful, accurate insights. Most importantly, these insights must be systematically interconnected, to align business strategy with tactics through a seamless integration of analytical, transactional, and collaborative processes.

The two words ‘insights,’ and ‘seamless’ are high tech jargon. But how would I rewrite this abstract without them? I couldn’t. Not without using a lot more words and losing my high tech readers who expect and understand this jargon. (Also I only had 457 characters to work with in the first place. Abstracts must be short!)

That is a very obvious example, but every form of writing has its own language. Novels for adults use more sophisticated wording than novels for young adults and children. Words that adults know and understand can mean nothing to young adults and children, and vice versa of course.

Becoming familiar with your audience’s jargon and using it correctly is one of the keys to speaking directly to your readers. If your readers feel understood and heard they will definitely keep coming back for more.

I have an amazing ability to see the trees. They are very clear to me and I acknowledge them and know each one intimately.

The trees make up a forest, and that forest is my world as I see it.

Despite the fact that I know the trees, I consistently lose sight of the forest—the big picture.

Why?

I realize now more than ever, I must be able to answer this question. It is integral for my evolution as a writer, and as a person.

The forest for the trees. I can’t see the forest for the trees.

I remember my English teacher in high school saying that over and over. She was talking about essay writing, creating a thesis and supporting it. I got it then, but it is only recently I get it in the broader context of my life.

So what would Ms. Carrier say to my question why.

I’m not sure my high school English teacher is qualified to answer that, but I bet deep, deep down I know my own answer.

The forest shows the health of my world as a whole, and maybe just maybe, I haven’t been nourishing all the trees the way I should’ve been.

Maybe I was in denial, self-sabotaging, unconscious or completely unaware, whatever the reason, I’ve stayed buried in the trees.

Well, it’s time to change that. I’m going to take a plane and really check out how the forest is doing, and what I can do to nourish parts that need extra care.

And I will admit that I didn’t want to see certain trees and that I spoiled others.

I will work for consistency, balance and awareness. And I’ll take the plane up often so I can’t lose sight of the forest for the trees anymore.

And I’m sorry my forest for my narrow view—I’ll make it up to you I promise.

The forest, the world is a terrible thing to waste.

Every piece of writing has an intended audience. Whether you are writing a sci-fi novel for adults, a report for your marketing staff, website content or a blog for your clients, the tone of voice should be focused on your readers. This may sound obvious, but I find a lot of writers overlook this very necessary component.

Do book publishers and magazine editors know their audiences?

Absolutely. Major book publishers and trade magazine editors target their readers very effectively. They know that if their readers aren’t getting what they want they will lose them as readers—it’s as simple as that. And it’s the publishers’ and editors’ jobs to make sure their writers know the audience and use the right tone of voice to appeal to that audience.

Do writers who write reports, website content and blogs know their audiences?

That depends. Professional business writers should be writing for an intended audience—that’s part of their job. Professional speech writers, for example, write a speech for the audience that will be listening to it catering to that audience’s needs, wants and questions. But many people who end up writing reports as just another part of their job description may not consider their readers. A lot of people who write their own website and blog content don’t aim their content at the right audience, or sometimes any audience at all.

Here’s an example. This website content is from a Homepage I found surfing the web:

ABC is a montreal web design  firm. This Montreal web design firm had its humble beginnings in 2000 and is a privately held company headquartered in Montreal, Quebec. ABC has been providing high quality Web site design and development services for its clients in the Montreal area. ABC’s mission is to be a reliable, secure and quality-driven Internet based technology solution provider.

ABC consistently delivers high quality web design and outstanding customer service for its clients. ABC takes pride in its long history of completing web design & web development projects on time and within budget. Fundamental Web site design components often neglected by other Web development service providers, such as security, search engine optimization, and cleanly formatted source code are operational standards at ABC.

This text has obviously been written by a non-professional writer who is interested in optimizing certain keywords and phrases for SEO purposes. This writer has forgotten that people are actually going to read, or try to read, this content.

This is how I reworked their content to focus on their intended audience, real people, and the professional clients they are trying to attract. I still maintained some of the keywords they used for SEO purposes:

ABC welcomes you to our Montreal web design firm. Our web design firm is privately held and has been providing clients with high-quality website design and development for over ten years. Our mission at ABC is to be your reliable, secure and quality-driven Internet-based technology solution provider.

We at ABC consistently deliver high-quality web design and outstanding customer service. We take pride in our long-standing history of completing web design and web development projects on time and within budget. Fundamental website design components, often neglected by web development service providers, such as security features, search engine optimization (SEO) and cleanly formatted source code, are operational standards with us at ABC.

No matter what audience you are writing for it is very important to speak to them in the tone of voice they expect and that will grab and keep their attention.

Why is writing for your target audience so important?

If no one is reading what you’ve written, or if you are writing for an audience who will never be your clients, then why did you go to all the effort to write anyway?

Writing takes a lot of time, thought and effort so making sure you’re writing for your readers is an essential key to grabbing your readers’ attention and keeping it.

I’m almost finished Crush it! by Gary Vaynerchuk and it’s been a really slap-across-the-face kind of read. And not in the way you might think.

This is a book about social media and business, and cashing in on your passion. Now that’s really got me thinking Boom!

Gary’s known for being, well, annoying and has a reputation for being loud and in your face too. He does a lot of video because he feels that’s his best forum and I get it—he’s larger than life.

But, that’s not what I mean by ‘slap across the face,’ at least not for me. He gave me a wake up call. It was that polite but snapping glove across the cheek, the challenge to a duel. But the duel is with myself not some knight trying to show off for some maiden.

I am the maiden and I’ve gotta fight the duel with myself. Talk about split personality, or bi-polar, as it’s referred to these days (I’m a psych grad don’t you know).

He slapped me when he said I’ve got to Crush it! meaning work my ass off harder than I ever have before. I’m a hardworker don’t get me wrong, but according to Gary I’ve got to put in the HOURS. And I’ve got to do it for years to create a network and a brand online for myself.

Haven’t I been doing that Gary? I mean it’s been over ten years I’ve been a writer and editor?

But Gary says, “No, you must work harder, harder young woman.”

And then, all of a sudden, looking at other writers’ blogs this morning, I got it.

It’s about passion, it’s about wanting it bad enough and it’s about being transparent.

What writer out there doesn’t struggle with these issues at one point or another in their career? (Hey, that’s why some writers drink…)

Boom! That’s it exactly. Combining passion with business isn’t easy, but without passion business is only work, and who wants that!?

Not me.

So I thank Gary for the polite cheeky slap and Boom! here I come.

I’d really like to know what writing books you’ve read and loved. I’m loving Truby’s book Anatomy of Story.

5 Keys to Writing That Will Keep Your Readers Coming Back for More

These 5 keys can be used in any genre of writing. Whether you are writing for fiction or non-fiction readers, professionals reading your reports or websites, magazine readers perusing your articles or followers reading your blogs, you can craft compelling text over and over again with these 5 keys as your guide.

You will find my first key here today or you can download the whole article by clicking on my link above. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

Key #1: Use Clear, Concise Language

Clear, concise language allows you to say more with fewer words. I cannot emphasize enough how important this technique is for all your writing projects. Clear, concise language allows you to craft economical and highly focused sentences giving your readers a lot of information in a small amount of time and space.

Does this technique work for novel writing?

Yes, it does. Even if, for example, your novel has a very verbose main character or is rich with descriptive passages, the supporting storyline can be refined and focused by reworking the sentences.

Here’s an example from my adaptation of the classic novel, Heidi. This is the draft opening paragraph I wrote for a children’s publisher in Korea:

On a clear sunny morning two figures climb the narrow mountain path.  Detie is a tall strong-looking young woman leading a girl named, Heidi, by the hand. Heidi’s parents both died when she was very small and Detie, her aunt, has looked after her since she was a baby. Heidi is now all of five years old and Detie is taking her to live with her Grandfather. Heidi’s Grandfather lives high on the mountain where the land grows wilder as it ascends. The fragrance of the short grasses and mountain plants fill the air and lead the way up to the steep summit above.

Here is the final version of the same paragraph:

On a clear sunny morning two people were climbing the narrow mountain path.  Detie, a tall strong-looking young woman, was leading a girl named Heidi, by the hand. Heidi had a heart-shaped face, short curly brown hair and had just turned five years old. Heidi’s parents both died when she was a baby and Detie, her aunt, had been taking care of her ever since. Detie had recently accepted a job in Frankfurt and could not take Heidi with her. She decided to take Heidi to live with her Grandfather. Heidi’s Grandfather lived high on the mountain where the land grew wilder as it became higher. Heidi could smell the short grasses and mountain plants as she looked up to the steep point above her.

Even though the final version is longer and includes more description, I refined the sentences and the language to express more with fewer words. I also described the surroundings through Heidi’s own senses bringing the reader into Heidi’s world. This allowed the reader to smell and see, through Heidi, what climbing that mountain path was like for her.

The intended audience was children between the ages of 9 and 12 years old. Being descriptive and using simple language were two essential criteria for this project.

Do non-fiction, business and blog writing lend themselves to clear, concise content?

Non-fiction, business and blog writing do lend themselves to simple, succinct language because the writer is explaining their ideas or telling their stories. The reader may not know anything about the subject matter before they begin reading, but they want to know and therefore the writer focuses on clear language to get their ideas across.

Magazines, business reports, websites and blogs all cater to readers who don’t have a lot of time to take in information they need and want to know. That is why writing in these genres should be the most focused of all, eliminating extraneous words, ideas or information that don’t specifically relate to the topic of the article, report, website or blog.

What do all these different genres have in common?

All these genres have in common writers who want their readers to keep reading and come back for more. Not only do writers want their readers to finish reading their books, articles, reports, websites and blogs, but they want their readers to come back. Getting to the point and staying on point is one of the key ways to keep your readers engaged and enthusiastic about coming back and reading more.

By Jacqueline Snider

While writing your book you might be struggling with how to keep your story moving, how to keep your readers engaged and how to create vibrant characters. 

Using techniques drawn from the art of screenwriting, my course is designed to help you write your novel so that your readers stay engaged from the beginning of your book to the end.

My online course, starting September 5^th, 2011, will include a series of 6 online workshops designed to help you flesh out the meat of your novel.

My online course will include:

• Discovering Your Units of Dramatic Action (September 5^th, 2011),
• Establishing Your Pivotal Points and Actions (September 12^th, 2011),
• Clarifying Your Character’s Motivation (September 19^th, 2011),
• Clarifying Your Units of Dramatic Action (September 26^th, 2011),  
• Organizing Your Story: What’s the Mid-point? (October 3^rd, 2011), and
• Choosing Your Ending: Does it Make Sense and Why? (October 10^th, 2011).

Each Monday, from September 5^th to October 10^th, I will email you ideas, questions and a video you can use to discover the meat of your story. My instructional videos give you valuable information and practical examples about each week’s workshop material.

You can work on the ideas and questions throughout the week and respond to me by the next Monday workshop. I will then give you feedback and suggestions that will help you move on to the next week’s workshop material.

My online course begins September 5^th, 2011 with Discovering Your Units of Dramatic Action. So don’t delay, register now! Spaces are limited.

Email me today at jacqueline@snidereditingandwriting.com and get started on fleshing out the meat of your novel.

My online course is $210.00, plus $10.50 (GST) and $18.74 (PST) = $239.24CAD

Please visit my website at www.snidereditingandwriting.com for more information about me and what I do.

Why is it so hard, sometimes, to just sit down and write something?

But not just anything. I’m really talking about writing from the heart.

If you’re a writer too then you know that sometimes when you work you’re writing from your head. When you’re writing an abstract for a white paper or a press release or a home page for a client’s website that’s head work. It’s intellectual and efficient and mostly unemotional. (Thank the Goddess Above for that kind of work—it keeps me sane.)

I’m not saying that you aren’t putting your all into it because I do so I believe all you other writers out there likely do too, but that’s not what I mean by writing from the heart.

Writing from the heart comes from writing your own stuff FOR YOU. That’s the difficult, gut wrenching, writers block combination. I get it, you get it, we all get it, right? Why is it that I find it easier to sit down here and write a blog than work on my book? There I said it, yes, I’m writing a book. Or as some of my friends say I’m talking about writing my book.

Okay, I admit it. I don’t work on my book as much as I should and I know, I know that’s got to change. I’ve started chronicling my work and I always get a zero next to my writing development. That zero means I’ve spent zero time working on my book.

It’s crazy because if I have work to do for my clients I get it done—and on time too.

I tell you this writing from the heart stuff is something I’ve got to grab by the horns, wrestle into domestication. I’ve got to be able to walk up and pat it every day.

Yep, that’s my plan. I’ll let you know how it goes.

It’s a Yoda post my friends. Believe.

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, sit in the lotus position and breathe.

Ahhh, feels good doesn’t it?

That’s how editing makes me feel—one with myself, whole, centred.

It is so satisfying to take a piece of work that needs my energy and love and transform it into a complete piece of art.

I look at content as a puzzle. I really try to understand what it’s saying and who’s going to read it before I give it the energy from my force—from the universal editing force chanelling through me.

I spend at least as much time, in my professional life, editing as writing. For me they are balance. Two sides of the same coin.

My writing makes my editing better and my editing makes my writing better.

This has been a Yoda moment. We all must learn.

Luke: I can’t believe it.

Yoda: That is why you fail.

There is no try, only do. Yoda

Yesterday I met one of my all time favourite clients, Christiane D’Aoust! Through our working relationship we’ve become very good friends, and we wanted very much to meet.

My husband and I drove up to L’Ange Gardien (a beautiful drive from the West Island by the way) and had a wonderful talk and dinner with her and her husband, Steve.

I feel incredibly lucky and honoured to have worked with her on her children’s book.

We met their cat, Gem-Bem, who is the central character in her book, and the other woodland animals that feature so prominently in her story. Her novel should be out early in the fall. I will blog about it when it’s released.